Twas the night before Christmas....

.......when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa’s mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.

Dark Forces for Billy, and Doom II for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com

Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa’s workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that’s just down the way


From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.

More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! all of you are through.

It is Microsoft’s SANTA that the kids can’t resist,
It’s the ultimate software with a traditional twist—
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get ‘em young, keep ‘em long, is Microsoft’s scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer’s dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away—wow!"

And Mama in her ‘kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whirr and the hum of our satellite platter,

As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

Merry Christmas People

Got a 1/2 day today then off next week - enjoy your christmas my friends.

Tosh

ONLINE TV SHOWS

Click here to watch lots of shows like the simpsons/family guy/transformers/lost/24 etc minted! :D

Scottish Xmas fruit cake recipe

You'll need the following:
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
1 cup of nuts
1 bottle of whisky.

Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup and rink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whisky to check for ionsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway??

Well it's my last day at work today until the 2nd January! I have of course been able to sign into messenger this week too because my boss is already on her hols so it's been even better here.

I'm off to stay with Emma on Thursday night in London and then we are off to Gail's wedding on Friday in Bedford. I'll take some photos for those of you that remember Gail! Most of you will probably remember her and Chris arguing all the time when he came to stay with us so it's a miracle they managed to last long enough to get married!!

I'm back down to Devon on Saturday and then i've got my sister and her boyfriend staying until boxing day with my dad joining us on Christmas day. Then we are down to my mums for the day the day after. Phew. Then i'm off to Spain on the 28th until the 1st when I get back home around midnight, just in time to go to sleep and get back to work on the 2nd.

So, have a good Christmas everyone in case I can't log on elsewhere to blog! Catch up with all your goss in the New Year!

xxx

Bethlehem District Council

My week

Hello

I have been in London all week. Monday i was in the London offcie and the rest of the week I was on a Product Management course. The course was very good. The Hightlight of the week was going to wee A Question of Sport being filmed with My Brothers brother in law Geth and the n been taken around the Blue Peter offices - apart from the blue peter logo and pictures of all the presenters it looks like a normal office.

QoS was funny - Ally is superb - really works the crowd. Sue Barker has a dead easy job. THe guests were - Christopher Dean, Will Greenwood, Alex McLeish and James Cracknell. Here are some pics:








Then We went to a pub on Sheperds Bush and had sommit to eat - and Dick or Dom went past - ooo all excited ;)

Matthew Cornelius my Nephew

My Little Nephew Matthew aged 1 1/2

I love my Job

So much so i have to stay till 6.30 tonight cause the stupid program i am downloading to do my job is taking soooooo loooong. Why the company could not just send the disk to me I don't know, downloading a 2gb program is just so time consuming!!!!

I want a new mobile phone

My contract is about to run out and I need a new phone, any suggestions?

At the moment i'm leaning towards one of those Cath Kidston ones from Carphone Warehouse but i'm trying to think if i'll get bored of it after a while and also the phones aren't that good - I don't like the slidey one and the other better looking Nokia is quite old (see picture)...




I did see the Sony Ericsson W800i on Orange in the clearance sale for £4.99 a month and that's with 250 texts and 250 minutes but i've no idea if the phone is any good.

What phones have you got?

Stop The Press - I stayed at my House Friday Night!!

Well this is my weekend round up. Starts Thursday night, when i had my Xmas do with work, drank lots danced and drank more. Friday I had off work, so did very little all day, other than get a new tyre for my car as i had a puncture. Went to the boys house at 4 for a few hours, then went over to Tosh's to play Gears of War, which we completed on Co-Op. I then went back to my house and slept there!!!
Saturday i got up late so did not go see the boys play football, trundled over to the boys house and we all went for lunch in town. Also looked for stuff to wear for the Bad Taste night this Saturday for Em's birthday. Chilled for the afternoon at the boys, Annie, Russ and I went to Emmas and then meet up with some of the football team in weatherspoons as it was the annual xmas do. Went on to Vodka Revolution and meet up with the other boys, Graham and Phil were down for the night as they had been at the races. Was good to see them. We moved on to Blush at about 12 and queued for ages in the cold. Russle and Jay almost got in a fight whilst we queued. Had more drinks, then at 2am Russ and i went home, after getting food. Walked all the way and were cold.
Sunday did sod all, made breakfast for everyone, watch Elf, had a KFC and then watched Man on Fire. Went home at 11.30pm and went to bed.

cut scene fro J and Silent bob - Urban dictionary anyone

Nasty Deleted Scene From Jay And Silent Bob - video powered by Metacafe

Bit sad

but this litterally cracked me up.

YouTube: Good Kitty Becomes bad Kitty

Lottery Numbers

I think it's time I changed my lottery numbers as in the past 6 months they've won me nearly £100.

I only have one line so can always remember them - is it a good idea to change or will I kick myself one day?

Drunken Broken Sparkle

I broke Sparkle on Friday night.

and now for a black snow dog!

Meet Mac (gyver) the latest addition to the Crazy Zoo!! It's still snowing here - looks like it's here to stay for a few more days. I am trying to make a snowman for you, but the snow is too pawdery and dry - perfect for Skiing and Snowboarding but crap for snowmen :o( so you'll have to make do with snowdogs I'm afraid.

The weekend is here..

..and Sparky is coming!!!

Tonight we will be playing some pool once the Welshman is down.

Tomorrow after footie (we are playing the team that beat us 3-1 two weeks ago so revenge is on the cards) Sparks, Drew and myself are going to Cardiff to get out suits fitted for the Robertson/Jones wedding. A bit of shopping then back to Chelts for a night out, should be good as all the gang will be there.

Sunday will be a recovery session i feel before its goodbye to Sparks for a couple of weeks and i shall be taking Becky out on a date.

Look forward to much carnage and many many photos from the japansese tourists Rusty and Ben.