Friday, September 30, 2005

Have a game

20 Questions

Think of something, anything and this site will try and guess it in 20 questions.

See if you can beat it

Xmas is cancelled

Webcam

I have not moved ALL this week. i am playing musical statues.

I am winning! :D

JOKE #2 - by Billy Connolly

Things I hate about everybody....

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I
know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at
my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the
entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and
change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it?
Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking
floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give
me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's
new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's
longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the
bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to
be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?'
No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks
that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless
you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has
to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank
looks...........Well I'll have a Mc Straw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking
McTosser.

14. When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you
alright? Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

JOKE #1

Bobby was in a car crash when he was 4 years old.
As a result of his injury he was blind. All of the doctors
tests and operations could not restore Bobbys' sight.

One evening when he was heading up to bed his mother said
to him.

"Bobby do you know what night this is?"

"No mommy what night is it?" Said Bobby as he felt along
the wall to his bedroom.

"This is wishnight, and if a child wishes real hard on
this night it will come true"

"Really???!!!!" said Bobby. "Could I see again???!!!!"

"Yes." Said his mother as she tucked him into thebed. "But only if you
wish very hard. Little Bobby sat in his bedwishing.

He wished as hard as he could. He held his breath so he
could put the energy for breathing in to wishing.

His little body rocked back and forth his finger nails cut
into the palms of his hands as hegripped them into fists. Just before 4 am
the little boy fell asleep exhausted. When his mother woke him up the next
day Bobby said.


"Mommy... Mommy... I still can't see!"



"I know", said his mother, "April fool."

fact of the day

it is plop it aint changed for however long it has been here!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Alteration to Site

Have changed the links on the side of the page. Have moved the Quiz links to the top! There are now also a selection of quizes to do.

You have to log out and set up a new log in for each quiz each time you do it, but if you use the same id and password for each you will not need to remember loads of different ones.

Starwars or Harry potter????

See below.

Star Wars Synopsis

Quite funny how the synopisis of the movies is exactly the same.

See if you can have a go applying it to any other movies you know using the Starwars Synopsis.

ADMIN: Sorted out link and moved part of blog to comment

QUIZ

mmmm i was looking at the different topics of the quiz yesterday but didnt save my changes - apperently that dosnt matter to the quiz people as today it is UK general Knowledge - everyone so far has gotton 10 - apart from me who got a dandelion Question wrong.

I will change it backe later once everyone has done it

Bring back Movie Trivia

This UK kinda blows its so easy.

Also think they are the same questions: Everyone else had a Q about Micheal Owen and his hattrick against germany? And one about Some trains and at the end says Think of a bear?

Movies is a tried and test and loved Trivia.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Use the link above to find How all Movie actors / actress are linked in some way to kevin bacon.

Blog here the highest Bacon Rating you get. Me and James got a 3 for far, aparently it goes up to 8

Just over a month now

Till give up smoking.

November 1st is the date and starting to gear towards it.

Have tosh threatening to hit me in the knackers every time I have a cig and paying a £5 fine which goes to charity.

Also an added incentive, I will save £300 between Nov and xmas so i will get myself an xbox 360 in January if I am still of the juice.

Reading up on it aparently the trick is to change everything you do that you most associate with smoking (breathing?). So if you wake up and have a cup of tea and a cig, You have some orange juice instead. So Im also going to get a guitar this weekend, something to keep me occupied thats different from day to day stuff I do now. Always wanted to learn how to play too.

FACT OF THE DAY

i have put a fact of the day on the quiz home page

every day there will be a new and exciting fact for us to enjoy. amazing! browse to the quiz now and learn something new!


actually the code works here too - Ben perhaps you could add it to the top of this page


Weird fact of the Day.

On the way to work this morning....

... I stopped at the lights on the one way system (inner ring) and walking across the crossing was a litlle girl with her dad. The funny thing was that the little girl who was about 3 had a lead in her hand which was trailing behind her. At the end of the lead was a toy dog being dragged along, bouncing about on its head cause the collor was weighing it down.

It made me giggle like a school girl.

Football Again

Yeye I just won £10 for being manager of the month in my work footie team too.

Im such a damn hero

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Well just blog something

If you are unhappy with the lack of blog activity just blog something random. On my desk i have a blue marker pen, loads of things from kinder eggs on top of my puter, and two Dosers from fraggle rock.

What do you have on your desk?

Monday, September 26, 2005

Drew Slips in on the Quiz

Mystical Drew slips in to do the quiz proving he is not Dumb John

Any Eastenders Fans Here?

Soap Fact:

This week the storyline is set in France as Mickey is going to meet some long lost sister or something, but, although a few bits were filmed in France the majority of this weeks episodes were filmed at my Aunty & Uncle's place near London.

You should all watch! But since most of you here are guys you aren't going to be massive soap fans are you?

Another good weekend of Footie

Not doing too bad in the overall league, 122nd :o)

Welsh Dragons

Points: 723.5
Overall Rank: 122
Percentile: 99th
Rank Change: +123

Friday, September 23, 2005

About Spiders

Comment here with Spider info

Something to ponder

Whilst driving to work i noticed i had a cobweb between my door and wing mirror, making me think why do spiders live there? Dothey really think they can catch a fly as i drive about? Or are they simply commuting between places (fecking hitch-hikers).

This then made me think how long does it take for a cobweb to degrade? Which made me think about Spider-man and why there are not loads and loads of used webs about New York? If his do dissolve how long does it take? Could a henchman be tied up at the start of a hiest and then escape cause the web as dissolved whilst Spidey is fighting the ring leader? Or do they end up going to jail still stuck, cause he stopped a train in the second film with his webs making you think they are like steel or something? Can the police cut it?

Do you think Spidey gets soaked when it rains? Come to think of it has it ever rained on him in the films whilst he is wearing the costume?

It's Friday but i am annoyed !!

On the way to work i saw that TGI Fridays has a big sodding sign out front letting people know that they need to book christmas parties now! Also they have a book club here and in the box this week is a copy of A Night Before Christmas! Its only September for fecks sake!!

Anyway Drew and Jay the hurricane dodger's should be back now, but i have not heard from them.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

All done on my Data input

Finally finished my Data inout which was fun. Over 3000 entries entered for a department i don't even work for, all because i asked my boss who would be entering all the data we took when i did overtime the other week, i think i said i would do it but should not have been taken seriously since i was knackered at the time!

None the less all done now and i will be claiming additional overtime for doing it !

Dentists

Was off work yesterday as had Earache and toothache Tuesday night and got bugger all sleep :o(

Had tooth filled yesterday aparently my old filling had a cavity underneath it which ate away the Nerve deadning stuff they put under the filling so my filling was sitting on raw nerve. Wasnt nice
and then after all that I get slapped with a £200 bill.

Dont just torture your mouth they torture you bank these days

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Midweek Wednesday

Half way through the week and people are already writing rubbish on the blog. Sparky those movies things are crap !! Tosh the monkey joke was funny for a kids joke, made me think of Bangers and Mash the monkeys.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Monkeys

Two monkeys in a bath

one says to the other "ooh ooh aah ah eeh eeh aah aah eeh ooh"

the other says ………….

StarWars / Lord of the Rings Line Substitute Challenge

Ok Here's another little bit of Fun.

Take Famous Starwars or Lord of the Rings Quotes and Substitute Key phrases of the quote with the Words "Pants" or Butts or Winkles.

(I said these for the easily offended, but if you can think of a better words just say)

Example:

StormTrooper: How long have you had these Pants?
Luke: About 3 or 4 seasons
ObiWan: They are for sale if you want them
StormTrooper: Im gonna need to see some Butts
ObiWan: You dont need to see his butt.
StormTrooper: We dont need to see his butt
ObiWan: these arent the pants your looking for...

Or Another Example:

Luke: Why dont you go into hyperspace I tought you said this thing is fast
Han: Going into hyperspace aint like dusting butts boy.

See if you can come up with some good one





Another Movie Challenge

You need to name a movie Sequel that was better than the Original:

For Example:

Return of the King was better than Lord of the Rings

Already thought of:

Aliens better than Alien
Empire Strikes back Better than Starwars
Shrek 2 Better than Shrek

Monday, September 19, 2005

Me my Mum and Billy



Caption Competition

I'm so r-onley

being in at 8am is so lonely, none of you guys are in yet and frankly i am bored. Don't think Tosh will be in today either as he is ill. Has a sky high temp and was being sick yesterday.

Any way how were poeple's weekends, i had a good time at the wedding i went to, then did play Halo with Sparks and Ice hockey most of Sunday. Watched the great north run in the morning too.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Sparky Wireless

I made it so that ikle Jays laptop can connect to Sparky wireless router, so now he can look at the internet with out having to dial-up. My god just thinking of dialing up gives me the hebe jebees.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Is this the closest quiz ever?

I reckon it could be, we are half way through the month of September during the Queens year 2005 and the current standings are thus:

Ben (Destroyer of all things nutritional) = 66
jamesphe (The mysterious player who I do not know) = 60
Jonneyboy (That's Sir to you) = 59
Amy G (Latin name: Bustious Maximus) = 57
Tosh (Porridge Wog) = 55
Yvette (Ah, she's sweet eh?) = 54
Sparks (Do not leave round flammable liquid) = 48
Col (Could only afford half a name) = 7
Drew (Too busy to play, or just dumb?) = 6

Who will win, only our knowledge of films that are pap will decide.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your comments please.

Friday Friday Friday Friiiidaaaaayyy

Woo Hoo it's Friday Yeah !!!!!!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Fantasy Football

So, with the help of someone from work i've amended my team a bit this week in an attempt to get off the bottom of the league! I think the only time I wasn't bottom was when I was on holiday!

Do we get to see who else everyone else has bought, and if we do, what day/when can we do that?

Definition of an Organisation

The organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different
limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.
The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Lost..............Of the Summer Wine

Top Tips

DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a p**s before the film starts.

RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.

SOLDIERS: Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Truprint.

MURDERERS: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.

BURGLARS: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90?, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.

EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

BANGING: two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.

ALCOHOL: makes an ideal substitute for happiness.

DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

CAR thieves: Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

DEPRESSED people: Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help', simply shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.

MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving.
Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

JEREMY Beadle: When selling DVDs on your TV advert, hold the disks in your bigger hand so that they do not appear to be the size of laser disks.

SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.

ALCOHOLICS: don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.

McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.

And finally

WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a s **t anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house afterwards

Jonny Boy

Hey John how was your Birthday on Sunday?

Penguin Poo

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Giving up

Im giving up smoking on 1st November

A few others in the ofice are trying too, seems like a good time to quit, given i still have all my limbs and most bodily functions.

Monday, September 12, 2005

I HAVE Wireless

We now have Wireless in my flat - woo hoo. got the netgear one 1/2 price at PC world - told you Sparks to get this one!! hehehe

Back to work now :(

but working from home as plumber is coming - and Sky + enginner has just come WOO HOO

Friday, September 09, 2005

Happy Birthday Jonno!

Happy Birthday for Sunday Jonno!

Hope you have a lovely day x

Thursday, September 08, 2005

You only sing when your whaling

Hello one and all.

I am in a small airport 1 1/2 away from Oslo. got just under 3 hours till my flight.

Last night was amazing. Didnt actualy see the goals as all the Scotland fans were standing up and siging lots. Norway fans were crap (hence the title above - thats a chant we were eh.....chanting )

We got to Oslo at 11:30 local time and couldnt check in till 3pm so we wandered around town. Got to a place for lunch and ordered 4 cheeseburgers and 2 club ssandwhich. came to 100 pounds!! 30% is put on everything for tax!! bloody expensive. SO we did buy booze at duty free and put them in water bottles - all night all i havd was 2 whiskeys in a small bottle of water bottle and one of vodka (with coke not straight) so i wasnt that pissed when i spoke to Yvette - seriously i was just over ther moon and couldndt really hear - i was nicly tipsy. we went to a pub after the match and i drank water. got to the hotel at 11:30 as we were knackered.

slept till 10 and got up went to a 7-11 for a hot pasty for lunch and made our way to the airport.

right got to go and get in the queue for check in.

see ya later

Tosh

Football

England played complete crap (i did not see cause i was at the cinema) and Scotland played rather well, so Tosh got really drunk.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

So Tosh set off at 1.30

After a couple of hours sleep the Two Tosh's set off at 1.30 to Norway this morning to watch their beloved Scotland. All the best boys but no offence they are not really going to qualify are they? Sod it lets be positive COME ON SCOTLAND ! There needs to be an easy group at the world cup.

On another match the build up for England vs N.Ireland has started, looking for a 2-0 win or better from the boys. So it will probably be 1-0 to them.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The Flower of Scotland!

Walter Smiths Tartan Army!

I am leaving to Norway Tomorrow at 1:30am (yawn) flying from Stanstead. i am coming back on thursday night.

Cant wait should be fantastic. Me and me bro are meeting up with guys we met in Switzerland last year. so there will be 8 of us i think.

the trouble is that the place is expensive - £7 for a slice of pizza and £8 for a pint - god knows what it will be for whiskey!! So we are buying alcohol etc before we go (or in duty free) and drinking it in the town square instead of going into pubs.

I have friday off too - i may blog if i can be arsed and let you know how it was.

COME ON SCOTLAND!!

Hello

Goodbye :o)

Ben and Tosh's Blog

It's my Blog and no one else bloggy blogs (but tosh)
It's my Blog and no one else bloggy blogs (but tosh)
It's my Blog and no one else bloggy blogs (but tosh)
So whats the point in Bloggy Blog Blogging

Monday, September 05, 2005

Yes I am Back

Cornwall was great :o)

CGCHE Old Skool A.K.A Tosh and Bens Blog

Ben we might as well just MSN and get rid of the blog!

Oh and lets not forgot

Sparky is back ! Shit

Monday Morning Blues

Well its the start of another week at work only 5 more days till the weekend again!

Well what did people do this weekend? We went out for a couple of drinks on Friday to unwind from the weekend. I was home by 11.30 and tucked up in bed by midnight. On Saturday Tosh, Drew, Jay, Graham and I went to the pub to watch the England v Wales match. Had some lunch and drank some beers. Game was alright not amazing. Then we went back to the flat and watched the Scotland v Italy game, bad luck Scotland finally ended at 1-1. James came round he was also breifly in the pub earlier. So after that game we got ready to go out. Down to the pub for more beers and into town. Tosh left early as he has football in the morning, so it left Gray, Jay, Drew and I to go to some clubs and get even more drunk. Can't remember much else as i was too drunk.

Sunday woke up and watched old films on Sky movies, went to tesco and brought food for a roast, cooked that and in the evening Tosh, Yvette, James and I went to the cinema to see 40 year old vigin, which is very funny and good. I recomend it.

Friday, September 02, 2005

I got that friday feeling

Oh its Friday and the weekend starts at 5.30 for me !! Woo Hoo !! Strange how a person can get excited about having two days off work. I have the feeling we will be out for some drinks later as Drew always wants or should i say needs to unwind for the week, which is what i suppose i also need to do. Hay let all get mashed !!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

We did not win the pub quiz this week

We came third, we were let down on our lack of knowledge during the music round. Oh well live to fight another day and all.