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Was the BLOG for the CGCHE Old Skool, a daytime TV view of their lives today, or what they did yesterday and only if they can be arsed to Blog it. But they are mostly lazy so sorry if it is mostly empty but Tosh and Ben do their best to keep it going
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The Reason for Angels on top of the Christmas Tree
It was suppose to be a happy time, but it wasn't. Santa was really pissed. It was Christmas eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The Elves were bitching about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.
Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN"T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours from now and all my reindeer are drunk, my Elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"
Just then the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. He says: "Yo, Santa, where do you want me to stick the Christmas Tree this year???"
......and thus the tradition of Angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass.
Christmas and Chanukah to Merge!
Continuing the current trend of large scale mergers and acquisitions back towards turn-of-the-century monopolies, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge. An industry source said the the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire.
While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high quality service during the Fifteen Days of Christmukah, as the new holiday is being called.
Massive layoffs are expected, with Lords-a-leaping and Maids-a-milking being the hardest hit.
As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience. Also, instead of translating to, "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff happens."
In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts. In fact, one of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner.
A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this development, except for Santa's dentist.
A spokesman for Christmas, Inc. declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out that were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market. Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance.
He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy, Come All Ye Faithful."
This whole business of Santa rewarding good kids and neglecting bad kids really bugs me, not that its anything to worry about, of course. If Santa does judge behaviour over each year all kids should be entitled to legal representation
Give them all an ASBO
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