Ex England manager loses details of 25 million alternative goalkeepers

Sources within the Football Association have revealed that national coach Steve McClaren lost two crucial CDs containing vital data about England’s European Championship campaign.

Apparently the two disks contained details of 25 million alternative goalkeepers and one about individuals who might possibly support Peter Crouch up front.

Details of the 25 million better goalies were held in a spreadsheet listing biometric details such as ‘Ability to see ball’ and ‘Can catch’ and ‘Propensity to concede shocking howlers in the first ten minutes of the game’.