Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Star Wars Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dook.
Dook-who?

more in the comments

11 comments:

Benji said...

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese resturant and Luke's having trouble with his chopsticks Finally Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks Luke"

Benji said...

Why did Anakin cross the road?
To get to the Dark Side

Benji said...

Where does Jabba eat?
Pizza Hutt

Benji said...

Where does Princess Leia go shopping?
At the Darth Maul

Benji said...

Two stormtroopers are partolling in a jungle. Suddenly one of them drops dead and the other is left confused. The remaining one contacts his HQ and asks for instructions. Before doing anything he is told to make sure that his partner is really dead. A blaster shot is fired. The remaining Stormtrooper opens his comlink and asks, "OK now what?"

Benji said...

What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A ToyYoda

Benji said...

Star Wars Fan 1:
Nowbody complains about the Ewoks! They were rubbish! Nobody complains about them!

Star Wars Fan 2
Yeah, but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like fooking SHAFT !!

Benji said...

Lucus says that he planned the stories from the beginning, so why are they kissing in the first one? It's Gross. Why in the first poster for Star Wars: A new hope is she clinging to his leg, like an inch and a half from his shlong, then two years later it's his sister ?
(Hal Sparks)

Benji said...

We (english people) play bad guys in Hollywood movies. Take the Empire Strikes Back from the Star Wars trilogy. The Death Star is just full of british actors opening doors and going "oh...I...Oh" "What is it Lieutenant Sebastian?" "It's Just the Rebels, Sir...they're here." "My god, man! Do they want tea?" "No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is but they've brought a flag." "Damn, that,s damn cunning of them."
(Eddie Izzard - Dressed to Kill)

Benji said...

I got the Phantom Menace, it's alright, not bad if you like that sort of thing, but it's a touch over -Celtic- your've got Liam Neeson as (an irish accent) Qui-Gon-Jinn the master so and so he is, "Ah Obi-Wan my cheeck Jedi Bucko, come! Come with me little fella and learn the ways of the force." I'm surprised Yoda didn't come out with a little green hat with a buckle on it - pig under his arm, "Ah Qui-Gon- are you telling the little fella about the force'n'all?" "That i am Yoda, and why don't you give me a snog?" They should've called it The Phanton McMenace or Anakin's Ashes. I'm suprised the Corrs weren't in it.
(Phill Jupitus)

Benji said...

You've got all these great actors in the Phantom Menace: Terrace Stamp, Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor. What they should have actually done is forget all the "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away" stuff and just gone "An englishman, an irishman and a scotman go into space..."
(Paul Thorne)