My Weekend

Had an up and down weekend been very tough for me giving up the cigs this time, i think it is because maybe this time around I originally felt pressured into it, but saying that Im starting to readjust my thining about that. I gave up once before, about 4 years ago. I smoked for 10 years before that and decided to give them up all on my own. And I quit for 3 years. I started again about this time last year so have been smoking for a year now - kinda like an old friend and it has got me through some hard times, a comfort if you like. Silly i know but thats just how it is.

Yes I had a lapse Friday, stressful day, Went to the docs and found them well, almost unsupportive. Work was giving me a hard time and just felt thourghly crap. Found the withdrawls harder this time around, had lots of pains in my leg and stomach cramps which are not pleasant. Not had much sleep either. Got quite depressed - I just didnt want to feel like crap cos my g/f was down and just wanted to be at my best for her, which I ultimately wasnt and having that cig didnt help, just made me feel worse and wasnt that enjoyable anymore. So being stuck in that inbetween was throughly miserable, missed cigs, felt physicaly crap and gone past the point where having a cig would help - and apologise to everyone for my mood this weekend, especially em who has been just fab.

So Em came down friday and we just had a night to ourselves, it was nice. Saturday we went into cheltenham and I got myself a coat from French Connection which I used to hate, but has some cool stuff in there lately.
Went to james's in the evening everyone had some tea which james expertly prepared - then went to see the fireworks from top of the hill. Was cool.

Sunday me and Em went to cardiff for the day, stayed in the Ibis which was a bit pants - but it did us. We did some shopping and then we went out for a lovely Tai meal to celebrate our mini 6 month anniversery. The meal was awesome, had some wine lots of laughs and for the first time in a week I felt relaxed and enjoyed myself. Was ace. We got a bit drunk and decided to take a trip to the casino. Em had never been before so I took ou £50 (hey I saved that much not buying cigs for the week) and off we went.

Well what can I say, Em is a naturally gifted roulette played, the girl can pick a winner with her eyes closed. I strated the ball rollingby loosing £20 in about spins... she got into it and strated picking numbers... "put soem on number 2"... bam winner £35, number 6... bam winner £35, put some on yvettes birthday Bam winner £17.... all in all we walked out with £150. Awesome. We could have won more im sure, but we had had a laugh and waled up £100 better off which paid for our meal and Hotel for the night.

Today we had free breakfast (hotel didnt charge us even when they asked "Did you have breakfast?" I replied "Yes", she said "Ok thats room with no breafast, £52". "great" i replied.

We did a little more shopping, got em her xmas pressie from me which is a rucksack for her trip to NZ in January.
Came back home and watched Jerry Mcguire and she has just left for home. See her ain in 4 weeks :o( hope it goes quick.

Anyways it is nice to see all the encouragement from my best friend on here, made me smile and I just want to say a very special thankyou to you all and also give a big apology for my moodiness. James and Tosh have both been great and I do appriciate the lengths you guys go to to stop me smoking :o) Yvette your the best and love you to bits. Benji, cheers for the support and Jay and Drew have both been fab also. Thanks guys your all the best a silly welsh tart lie me could not ask for better friends :o)